ISWG April – It is the Time for Mermaid Awakening!

This blog is written for monthly ISWG site, check it out here:

Another month has gone by and the first quarter of the year has passed. I do weekly checkins with myself to check where I am, where I am heading and how my last week has been.

As Brendon Burchard questions it : – did I live, did I love, did I matter? These have been good questions to check where I am with my life.

I had to answer that yes – I have lived, loved and mattered. For me living means living to the fullest – doing and being what I love most – whether it is my hobbies or fulfilling my life mission. Love is so essential wherever I am and now living in Hawaii it has made it even more central. It is in every step and breath I take. I always have a bigger picture and think what and how I can influence not only my day today but also my future and this planet’s future with my choices and creations.

Read about my last month’s inspiration about my writing and how I reset my journaling button. The magic is hidden also into the mermaid secrets.  Continue reading

ISWG – March – The main key to the insecurity

This post is made for Insecure Writers Group. Read more about them here: 

I have had some interesting times. I have learned so much about my own vulnerability as well wounds which are all connected to the insecurity.

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ISWG – February – How to make insecurity to move out of your reality?

This post is made for Insecure Writers Group. Read more about them here: 

Aaaah. What happened to time? Suddenly I realize we are almost heading towards the mid February and I am behind with all of my to do lists!!! I am a bit overwhelmed and stressed, but I guess that is normal if you are a person who has many balls in the air at all times! I am practicing more conscious time handling and it is taking time to get used to it. This month has been really boosting my confidence through a roof. I have challenged myself in so many ways. Read more how! I also discovered something funny about my insecurity during this month. Continue reading

ISWG January 2018 – How you can travel the world without leaving your island?

This post is made for Insecure Writers Group. Read more about them here: 
This post will be about my experiences in Waimea Ocean Film Festival in Hawaii.
What is cool about it is that you do not need to go far – as the world will be brought to you in the movies. I love traveling, but recently have enjoyed to be more stationed in one place and that is why it is a delight to travel visually for a change;) 
It has touched me to the core and I think it is my duty to share it with my writer friends. One thing for sure, this festival has reconnected me with the true artsy being in me – touched me so deeply that my tears have been flowing each day and I have promised to take better care of my artist’s talents this year and put them in use – filmmaking included… 
I am deeply touched. New Years Day has been amazingly full of so many surprises. I have never driven a road here in Hawaii on the 1st of January at 8 am. It was such a pleasure – as there were almost no cars on the roads!!!
Half way through I saw 5 goats by the road. Hawaiians say that this can be the message from the ancestors. Last time I did something extreme like this – being kind of alone and where the masses were not was in Volcano – doing that family retreat.
The goats reminded me today again that I will always be the one who walks her own path during times most do not. What is really weird – is that I do not feel scared or alone at all. This is something my artsy being actually loves to do and it is so natural for my being.
This is a huge step ahead – to be like that, as then I am there where most people are not. Many times – that is where the pioneers are.
The beauty of this island took my breath away. The sun was rising behind the mountains and I could see the holy Mauna Kea mountain with the snowcap on it. Waimea was greeting me with clouds and 63F. Felt like I was back in Estonia again.
Coming here was a journey. I found this info already last year, but never really acted on it. Once I decided to choose it – it created ripples.
Question mark – do you really go for your dreams or give up? I did not give up and asked for help from different invisible helpers and they did. I am so grateful.
I was looking for places where to stay during the festival and it seemed to be a mission impossible. Then I just got an idea to ask someone I know. She recommended someone who used to have a B&B. So I put it into motion and when I arrived here I was blown away.
We have choices – to pick a place by the busy road where you can not sleep the whole night or hold your breath to climb the mountain with your car or choose the true queen’s palace just 8 minutes from the festival locations (that was my pick). Wow;) I am a super ‘manafestor’ on this island. I thought that maybe this muscle has got rusty…. I have the view to the Mauna Kea side and the full moon and the Kohala mountains on the other side. There is a little stream down the base of the house and it is just so spacious. I could just stay here for a whole month and write, write, write and write…
Today’s Waimea Ocean Festival was very inspiring. My first film festival experiences were in Tromsö in Norway. I studied visual anthropology during that time and it was compulsory for us to go. I remember meeting the filmmakers and talking to them and I was so excited – I almost was shivering. After I did my two documentaries myself and left the academic world – movies and filmmaking has been kind of in the background and not very active theme.
But during the last year it has kind of surfaced again and I think maybe it is because my ancestors would love me to leave behind a bigger mark than I have so far.
Movies are a great way to do that. They are a huge work, but the impact may be beyond what we can even imagine. I really love documentaries and imagine I spent 2 years of my life to learn how to make them and now this has just been on the back burner for 10 long years!!!
Today’s movies talked about big wave surfers and several movies were about the Big Barrier Reef in Australia. The most powerful movie was the ‘Chasing Coral’. I was crying most of the movie as a true mermaid. I have noticed how the corals are in bad shape around Kona waters.

The movie tried to document what is happening to the coral reef in different parts of the world and the results were shocking. If it continues like this – the reefs in the world may be dead in 30 years time!!!! Coral reefs are super important to our ecosystems in the oceans and they are like the forests of the sea. Take these out and you will have no fish and to put it simply – the whole planet’s ecosystem is in danger.

Because the ocean temperatures have increased, the reefs are dyeing slowly and all over the world. If you would love to see what you can do or what your children can do to save this planet, check it out here:
What is also really interesting that I was one of the few persons from my age group. Most people attending were retired people. That made me think – do other people not care about quality films and issues in the world – or is it that we just work, work and work (especially my age group) and never stop to take a break to think – where are we running, how are we living and what choices are we making and what are we doing and leaving behind for the future generations?
I am glad I chose to clear my schedule and made a choice to come here. I decided to give myself a gift as my last year was a very successful year. This is not only a gift to me, but will be a gift to the world, as I will take action as well share some of this with my tribe and classes.
Only now – 41 years old I am really starting to own what an artist I am truly in my heart – the writer, the filmmaker, the painter and maybe while living here in Hawaii – it is time to let them surface and see how I can serve them and how they can serve me and the planet. In my mind I have the old and stupid belief – you can not earn money with these things and these are just for fun, so do not pursue them. I have been so insecure about them.
My visual anthropology studies in Norway, I financed myself and made it happen. I do not know too many Estonian women who have lived and filmed in South Africa for 5 months completely alone…
After the first day I am full of ideas, touched to the core of my being and will create many new things in the future inspired by this very day where I chose to see 9 different films today.
The Hawaiian canoe Hokulea film and Q&A was also super inspiring.
I am so lucky to be here and be able to attend. I am very grateful to my husband Michael Ditton as well as he was so kind to support my trip here.

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ISWG – December – Walking with my ancestors ;)

This post is written for the ISWG group. Read more about them here: 

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I gifted myself a whole weekend of systems and organization as well family constellation work with Fransesca Mason Boring in a beautiful eco Volcano Retreat center Akuaha run by Darshan Mendoza here on the Big Island of Hawaii. It was a wonderful weekend which also inspired me in so many ways.  Continue reading

ISWG October – Insecurity – our friend or enemy?

This post is written for the ISWG group. Read more about them here: 

This month I would love to explore this topic inside out. I have been observing this last month how this topic has influenced my life since I was small and what is different now. Read more. 

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ISWG September – 6 ways to get back on to your ‘confidence carpet’

This post is written for the ISWG group. Read more about them here: 

This past month has been full of adventure and awe, but also challenges which wiped me off from my own ‘confidence carpet’. I will share in today’s post what happened and how I got out of it and back to my ‘confidence carpet.’ Continue reading

ISWG – August – Through the systems to the confidence shore

This post is written for the ISWG group. Read more about them here: 

This last month has been a good month for me to realize how much we need system and organization in our lives and how that can also be one of the cornerstones to self-confidence. Read my insights from the past month here in Hawaii.  Continue reading

Insecure writers – Use your dreams as your seeds for your better future!

This post is written for the ISWG group. Read more about them here: 

This time I will share with you about my longterm dream, which I have worked with for many, many years.

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Confidence loves speed – ISWG for June 2017

This month I will write about how to conquer some fears in life and doing so – become a better writer and gain more confidence.
This post is written for the ISWG group. Read more about them here:  Continue reading

ISWG for May – How I met Jesus?

This post is written for the ISWG group. Read more about them here: 

You would expect that meeting Jesus is a very special thing. That he would look like a tall man with a bit of curly hair and be the most loving person on the planet. Maybe even having a halo around his head… Continue reading

ISWG for April – Be your own boss on land and in the water!

This past week gave me another opportunity to experience insecurity. Insecurity with my water therapy work. I have worked with people in the water for 7 years now. These have mostly been adults or teenagers. I never feel insecure in the water work, as I know my stuff and I am very professional and very experienced.

This time the opportunity appeared to work with a 1 year and 8 months old baby. I had never worked with the baby in the water before and I had never worked with a rich man’s baby in the water. I learned so much from this experience and I will bring it all together into writing after sharing my story.

This post is written for the ISWG group. Read more about them here: 
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ISWG – March – The hidden key to the roots of the insecurity

This post is written for the ISWG group. Read more about them here: 

This month was for me like a research project. I will answer my question: Where can we find the roots to the insecurity?

 

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ISWG – December post – How silly mistakes may create your dream life?

 

 writerbadgeThis post is written for the ISWG group. Read more about them here: 

From the ISWG page it guides us to write about this topic:

Have you made a silly mistake recently in your writing or with your career? Is there a mistake you’ve made more than once? I’ll share one of mine: When I type fast, I often hit the wrong key. This happens the most with the word “shut.” I accidentally type an “i” where the “u” should be. That makes for some interesting sentences and a lot of laughter when I catch it. Continue reading