Reverse motivation magic


Villa Ananda, Mexico

I was thinking about the next topic I would like to share with the insecure writers and I think not giving up is something I have been inspired by all my life, especially by the reverse motivation. Call it a Scandinavian Viking mentality which is all goal oriented to get somewhere or the Estonian stubbornness, it has got me long way in my life, at least to the other side of the planet, living my dream one day at the time in west Mexico.

I remember a conversational meeting I had with a famous social anthropology professor in Cape Town University while studying social anthropology there as an exchange student from Oslo University in 2005.

He asked me: ‘You are not going to apply for the masters degree anywhere, are you?’

Little did he know that only two weeks later I got the admission letter from Tromsö University saying that I was one of the lucky new students (out of 10) in their Visual Cultural Studies masters program.

SA CAPE POINT9 months later I travelled back to Cape Town, organised a little screening of my very first team documentary about the cultural integration in Norway and the same professor was there. He did not like my success and tried to put me down. That is what insecure men do – even the professors.

I had to disappoint him, as his denial of my greatness inspired me to prove him wrong. I finished my masters degree on time with a beautiful new masters documentary about Cape Town and holistic healing called ‘Broadband to Heaven’ as well my master’s thesis in Norway.

I only did not feel accomplished, but I also proved to myself that I can do something someone else did not see me being capable of doing. 

By the end of my masters project presentation, my tutor was asking me not to apply for the phd program. This time I did not apply because I wanted to prove her wrong, but I was tired of the academic way of going in life, where the egos and money had to be on the top of your list.

norramagiInstead I spent a whole 2 weeks on the mountain top, fasting and in silence to clear my head and figure out my life plan.

6 months later I moved back to Estonia, set up my own business in holistic healing.  This year I am about to celebrate 9 years in the business of holistic health and healing internationally and the last 5 years location free, meaning I spend my winters in the tropics and summers up in North, wherever that is.

writerbadgeThe same applies in writing. I have never given up, it is just that I have been too shy or too perfectionist about some of my work. This last week I pulled out one of my manuscripts about relationships and started to go over this and felt proud. The material is good, but it needs a lot of work. Maybe all I need now is someone telling me – Crystal – you should not finish this book and get it published’ I am sure, I would  probably get it done in no time.  Somehow the reverse motivation works. Go figure!

My dear reader, please share your thoughts about this article and how the reverse motivation tactic has worked for you if it has. Thank you for your time and support. 

lillecrystalI am Crystal Ra Laksmi, an Estonian global traveller, who loves to write and share my stories to spice up the every day life to whoever is ready to read and get inspired and take action to change something what is not working.

It is not luck what got me here to Mexico, it is the choices I made and simplicity of my life, which gives me the enjoyment of the moments I recreate every day.

I am part of the team changing my thoughts and words one at the time, to help to make the difference in the world on the bigger scale. Ask me how!


Invitation from Stephanie Scott:
Welcome to the Insecure Writer’s Support Group. Be insecure no longer! Commune with fellow writers. Find your place and your tribe. Join the IWSG Facebook Group here. Writers of all skill level and background ask questions and offer support.

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19 thoughts on “Reverse motivation magic

  1. This happened to me as a child. I was sickly and missed a lot of school, and my math teacher told my mother I would probably never have math skills because of my attendance issues. I was determined to prove him wrong, and I did!

    Shyness seems to be the theme so far of this month’s IWSG. I have plenty of that! Yet bit by bit, I am getting better.

    • Thank you dear Nadine for your comment. It is good to read, I have not been alone on that path. In a way those people who limit us or think they can limit us are a gift to people like us, who go beyond and more. The world would be so much poorer without it.

      I am also declaring to work on my writing exposure this year and be more brave about coming out and sharing and also get back to even magazine article deliveries. Good luck to us all to be better on showing off who we are!

  2. You’ve got moxie! You, and your story, are an inspiration. What a great life you’re leading, as well. North in the summer, warm tropics in the winter. Yes. Use your book to motivate other women to be strong and not cower to insecure men (or other women). Go. Create. Inspire!

    Mary at Play off the Page

    • Thank you Mary! Yes indeed. It is about choice and action. I will do better this year with inspiration. More dedicated to get things in a form – a book, a project, an article etc. No stopping now! The best to you too!

  3. You are amazing, Crystal. To know you is to know that you are capable of anything you put your mind to. One has only to look into your eyes to see a star. Happy IWSG!

  4. It angers me that anyone would be so discouraging for no reason (other than their own bias or jealousy). I am so glad you proved them wrong! I have also heard from friends that academia can be a toxic environment. You figured out what YOU wanted and took steps to get there. What a great inspiration!

    • Thank you dear Stephanie for the understanding and your support. I am actually grateful for my difficulties in life, as these have made me become who I am – a woman not giving up and going forward no matter what. I just wonder sometimes where could the world be if there would be more of us doing that?

  5. You will never finish that book:) I work pretty well with reverse motivation too. It probably isn’t the smartest way but dear lord I cannot stand for anyone to tell me I can’t do something.
    Good luck moving forward!

    • Thanks Doreen. I was wondering if anyone is about to give me the reverse motivation gear forward;) Sure, there is a power in that, even do we most times do not like it. Let this year be different. I will keep it posted how far I get this year. Good luck to you too!

    • Thanks Stephanie for your comment. I figured that I was on that edge to give up. Then I made a commitment with myself to write my blog at least once a week no matter what. Now it turned into a 2,5 years commitment, which I now figured I need to readjust, which I did. But what I also noticed was that I developed a writer muscle – so now I can just write a blog post within 30 minutes producing a good content of 1000 words with no problem. There is something in the self commitment, especially if you have a fanclub behind you. 😉 Good luck to you too!

  6. What an amazing journey!
    You have been blessed with a combination of goal oriented Scandinavian Viking mentality + Estonian stubbornness = recipe for success. Throw in the power of positive thinking, and there’s no stopping you! 🙂
    Congratulations on pulling out that old manuscript and dusting it off!

    P.S. Cape Town is absolutely beautiful, isn’t it?
    Two weeks on Table Mountain? Sounds like the perfect way to clear one’s mind…dust off the cobwebs…plan ahead.
    I haven’t visited Cape Town in ages.

    • Thanks Michelle. Yes it has been quite a trip. I see how it works even here in Mexico. Someone told me I am not able to make the papers here to work here legally, but once again, I am half way through and doing everything I can to prove them wrong again.

      Maybe in the text it came out like 2 weeks on the Table Mountain (even though I did many hikes up there too), but actually it was in Northern Norway. It was an amazing time and gave me clarity which set my course for the next 4 years and made miracles happen every step of the way. It made me move from Norway after 7 years and start over in Estonia in 2007.

      It is really funny that after I dusted it off, I have been almost bombarded with different books and materials, which can help my book and restructure it. It is amazing what happens when you put energy into something. What you focus on happens!

      Cape Town is breathtakingly beautiful. One of the most beautiful towns in the world. It is just so sad that there is still so much criminality happening there. I love the South African culture, folklore, their music, their textiles and so many things. People are mostly nice too, but I guess it was my first time to experience being white a negative thing. Hooponopono to all those people who had to suffer because of the apartheid.

      Thanks for your support Michelle. Will visit your blog later!

  7. It’s great to have a variety of tools in the toolbox. So good of you to share it so others can try it out.

    • Thank you Marie. It is, I try my best to share these too. Seems to work. What is the most amazing is to see how one can help to influence one individual at the time just with a blog post or with an online course. Last year I had a nice group working with materials and their lives changed completely. Who got a new partner, who got a new job, who left the old one, who left the previous partner, who figured out what her or his mission is and so on. We can all matter. But we need to believe in it first.

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