I was thinking about the next topic I would like to share with the insecure writers and I think not giving up is something I have been inspired by all my life, especially by the reverse motivation. Call it a Scandinavian Viking mentality which is all goal oriented to get somewhere or the Estonian stubbornness, it has got me long way in my life, at least to the other side of the planet, living my dream one day at the time in west Mexico.
I remember a conversational meeting I had with a famous social anthropology professor in Cape Town University while studying social anthropology there as an exchange student from Oslo University in 2005.
He asked me: ‘You are not going to apply for the masters degree anywhere, are you?’
Little did he know that only two weeks later I got the admission letter from Tromsö University saying that I was one of the lucky new students (out of 10) in their Visual Cultural Studies masters program.
9 months later I travelled back to Cape Town, organised a little screening of my very first team documentary about the cultural integration in Norway and the same professor was there. He did not like my success and tried to put me down. That is what insecure men do – even the professors.
I had to disappoint him, as his denial of my greatness inspired me to prove him wrong. I finished my masters degree on time with a beautiful new masters documentary about Cape Town and holistic healing called ‘Broadband to Heaven’ as well my master’s thesis in Norway.
I only did not feel accomplished, but I also proved to myself that I can do something someone else did not see me being capable of doing.
By the end of my masters project presentation, my tutor was asking me not to apply for the phd program. This time I did not apply because I wanted to prove her wrong, but I was tired of the academic way of going in life, where the egos and money had to be on the top of your list.
Instead I spent a whole 2 weeks on the mountain top, fasting and in silence to clear my head and figure out my life plan.
6 months later I moved back to Estonia, set up my own business in holistic healing. This year I am about to celebrate 9 years in the business of holistic health and healing internationally and the last 5 years location free, meaning I spend my winters in the tropics and summers up in North, wherever that is.
The same applies in writing. I have never given up, it is just that I have been too shy or too perfectionist about some of my work. This last week I pulled out one of my manuscripts about relationships and started to go over this and felt proud. The material is good, but it needs a lot of work. Maybe all I need now is someone telling me – Crystal – you should not finish this book and get it published’ I am sure, I would probably get it done in no time. Somehow the reverse motivation works. Go figure!
My dear reader, please share your thoughts about this article and how the reverse motivation tactic has worked for you if it has. Thank you for your time and support.
I am Crystal Ra Laksmi, an Estonian global traveller, who loves to write and share my stories to spice up the every day life to whoever is ready to read and get inspired and take action to change something what is not working.
It is not luck what got me here to Mexico, it is the choices I made and simplicity of my life, which gives me the enjoyment of the moments I recreate every day.
I am part of the team changing my thoughts and words one at the time, to help to make the difference in the world on the bigger scale. Ask me how!
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