ISWG – February – How to make insecurity to move out of your reality?

This post is made for Insecure Writers Group. Read more about them here: 

Aaaah. What happened to time? Suddenly I realize we are almost heading towards the mid February and I am behind with all of my to do lists!!! I am a bit overwhelmed and stressed, but I guess that is normal if you are a person who has many balls in the air at all times! I am practicing more conscious time handling and it is taking time to get used to it. This month has been really boosting my confidence through a roof. I have challenged myself in so many ways. Read more how! I also discovered something funny about my insecurity during this month.

You know all these New Years Resolutions where you promise you will try new things. Well I have and for real, not only in my dreams or paper, but I did it.

Living my dream in Hawaii

Living in Hawaii is very different from visiting Hawaii. We get so busy with so many things that there is hardly time for much fun. This month I was on track to fix that. To enjoy more of it. I even did several sunset bicycle hunting as to enjoy the beauty here more.

This last month I started to do the Hawaiian outrigger canoe paddling in one of the oldest Canoe clubs in Hawaii – Kaiopua club and it has been quite challenging, but also very lovely.

There is nothing more beautiful than to wake up early, get to the beach and see the sun rising behind the volcano Holualoa mountain and be the first one in the canoe in order to witness the sunrise while floating on the ocean. Many times the dolphins come to say aloha or a turtle passes by or the whale is flapping the tale in the background. It is a magical moment which reconnects myself, the nature, my purpose and the people there. So much that I decided to become a member. I also managed to meet one other Estonian there passing by from Australia. How cool was that?

Then I thought to take it one step further. I started to go to hula dance classes.

Today I had my second hula class. This dance is not that easy as it seems. Once you get the feet going you have to add the hands and it is quite a challenge to get it all coordinated as it should at the same time – it is actually funny in the beginning. But the Hawaiian doctor I saw some months ago actually prescribed me the ‘dance of love’ and told it would be really good for my organs. 😉

After I danced it for 1,5 hours I tried to feel what is different. It is a truly full body workout for your hands, knees, feet, legs, hips – such a science! As you dance it barefoot on the grass you get the full connection with the earth. While you dance you do it light, so you are fully connected to your feminine. As you have to coordinate everything at the same time – you are also so connected to your masculine. You can also sing the songs and then for sure you can not think of anything else than what you are doing.

Picture from the Internet

It is one of the best ways to become present, feel connected with the Earth and Heaven and feel it all come together while you tell stories while dancing this ancient dance.

I am so lucky that I have visited the initiation grounds of hula in Kauai for couple of times. I feel so blessed.

I am truly getting more connected to the goddess Laka as well.

It is finally nice to learn this culture and do it through my own body, mind and spirit.

I love people’s reactions when I talk to them. Today I met a woman from Oregon border and Toronto. They both love hula and shared their experiences. When I told them where I am from and that I live here now they could not take it in. The lady from Toronto comes for only 2 weeks per year and the other one is mainly housesitting and renting for like 6 months out of the year. I am a rarity and exotic element in this area indeed. 🙂

Today the hula teacher was from Europe and she has obviously lived here a long time. It was cool to see how much she knew about the hula dance and how she mediated it. I think I would never have that courage.

For me hula is something so sacred and I am not even sure if anyone else than a true Hawaiian can get the real true meaning of it and then to teach it as well. But it was brave of her to do it and save our class as the regular Kumu teacher was not present.

Picture from the Internet

I also started to study Hawaiian language. My dream is to learn some chants and even playing the Hawaiian drum for hula. I was amazed how this language is systemized and how funny it is. Instead of saying the plain – I am full after a meal – they say – the canoe has arrived! 😉 Makes sense?

I also went to the Waimea Ocean Film Festival here and you may have seen couple of my blog posts about that last month on my FB wall as well. This brought me another beautiful documentary film idea and I managed to write a new proposal of 10 pages and presented it to the focus group and it was really well received. I will now tweak it and start to look for money to make it a reality. Exciting times.

In addition to all that I finalized my 8 months online classes and 4 online groups. It was especially challenging as the last group was not very cooperative. I learned a lot and changed a lot – so the new group which started is much better systemized and working better.

What was really cool was that 50% of the participants started new projects or even businesses during my class, even though this was not our main focus, it lead to that as they got connected to their true path and talents. It makes me feel good to know that my presence has helped them to change their lives. My business did really good last year, I reached higher and produced more results than I even planned. I even exceeded the tax free limit and started to pay taxes in Estonia by the end of the year as I earned so much more money. All this mainly via internet and my online business!!! Imagine!

In addition I am finalizing my book draft about relationships, and found couple of people to help me with my editing process and may have found a new option for publishing as well. The aim is to publish by the beginning of June in Estonia in Estonian. After that it will be time for my English version. I am so excited! It has been 10 years in the making.

I have been starting also my very own VIP Online club for 12 months and that has been an inspiring process as I interview all my favourite people there. I am so excited at all times and I guess one of my true talents is to be a journalist of a kind.

Picture collage put together by Valev Laube.

My dear contact from New York, Valev Laube interviewed me for his FB page and you can watch this here:

I made a full interview with him on my page and please read it here: 

What was really interesting was that this completely awakened my creativity and is a new beginning on many scales. Valev is an Estonian who lives and works in New York and is a very talented person and involved in many projects.

This month I have been a bit overwhelmed by the level of writing and preparation it has taken to prepare our first visit to Estonia with my husband Michael together. We have to set everything up logistically – a place to live, rental car, flight tickets, car parking etc and in addition all the events set ups, logistics, payments… I work and do many of these things all by myself as I am the only one in the family speaking Estonian, but Michael supports me as much as he can. It just is really time consuming. I wish I would already have my own copywriting and marketing and sales team working for me. It is a lot of work to be done just for one person.

I have still tried to keep up my training schedule with almost 5-7 times per week – bicycling, ocean swimming, paddling, aerial silks and aerial trapeze training. I also participated in one aerial creativity workshop with a teacher from Canada. This was really amazing. I so loved it.


So all in all I have one simple rule for insecurity this month – just get yourself so busy that you have no time to think about it and if you are busy long enough – it may just move out of your reality!

At the moment this is the case for me. The only time it still sneaks back is when I start to work with my book publishing process. Other than that seems it is quite independent and I think have probably moved out. Maybe he grew up? Who knows? I will share more news in the coming months.

Maybe my insecurity got infected and now it has a flue and can not function? Not a bad idea. Another reason why to come to Hawaii – to take time off and heal. 😉

We also did our very first welcome video for our new brand with Michael, which we called – Infinite Activation. Check out our first video which by now has had 1400 views and the post has reached to 3000 people already. This truly has potential.

Now we both got enrolled in Brendon Burchard’s Expert’s Academy – one of the world’s leading self-development coaches to further advance our branding and our work individually and together with Michael. 

Thank you all for your attention and share with me what other tricks have  you found out about insecurity in your life?

Aloha and mahalo from Hawaii. <3 May you have a blessed month wherever you are and whatever you do!

Picture by Maris Saar

I am Crystal Ra Laksmi-Ditton, who at times thinks she is a superwoman. Then again the reality kicks in and sweeps me off my feet with a little sickness or something, which makes me stay put in one place and be less active.

This all made me promise that one thing I will do differently this year is to take better care of me and for that I am keeping up my own self-love commitments regularly. One of them is to go into a salt and herbal bath once a week, do my soft massage all over my body there and also do my facial mask. This time is for me – where I turn myself into my own Intuition FM and listen to the messages. It is amazing what kind of stuff will be downloaded at times!

All in all I live my dream – living my real fairytale in Hawaii with my beloved exotic husband Michael and if you would love to turn your fairytales into reality too, let me know – as I may be able to guide you to the right direction! 😉 Aloha and mahalo;) <3

16 thoughts on “ISWG – February – How to make insecurity to move out of your reality?

  1. Way to go–getting out, living life, knocking things off the bucket list. I’m doing the same thing a little bit. We got season passes to parks other than Disney and Universal Studios for the first time, and yesterday I watched my first rocket launch via the internet AND standing in my back yard. I’ve only lived in Florida for 9 years. Why did it take so long? Here’s to living epically!

    • Yes Crystal, that is so funny how we kind of forget about our own surroundings once we get sucked into the daily routines of our lives. We have to remind ourselves that daily here. The other day I took time off and put in like 4 hours vacation driving to my favourite coral beach and swam and freedove for like 40 minutes, then lied in the sun and read a book for 1 hour! It is all here – just 40 minutes drive away and all year round;) Sounds like you are having loads of fun too and hope you get your bucket list up and follow it through more than ever! 😉

  2. lovely, in every way… the kind of piece one wants to make a positive comment about… the kind of sharing that is inspirational… lovely, in every way.

    • Thank you dear Marie Anne for your presence and support and smile;) Aloha sprinkles go your way;)

    • Thank you dear Anna;) Yes indeed. That is the very purpose many come here, but often times end up having no time for;) I am doing my best to immerse myself in it;) Thank you for reading and commenting Anna;)

    • Yay, that fire dance is cool. I have not gotten that far, but once you live here many things you dream about doing here one day – is not that easy – as you get busy with everyday life. It took me almost 6 months to get used to the rhythm here that I actually live now here and do not just vacation here – or to say – my life has turned into a vacation, but I also work and do what I love in my favourite place on Earth;) Thank you Stephen for reading and commenting;)

  3. Hula dance classes? Sounds exciting. Serves as a form of exercise and a form of therapy too.
    Congratulations on studying the Hawaiian language. Lots of great things happening for you!

  4. You are such an inspiration, Crystal. Because I know, I also know you work very very hard, and have all your life. Nothing came easy. I love that I can hear the happiness in your words. I can feel you smiling while you wrote this post. Such a joy to read. Please continue spreading your wisdom, knowledge and peace. It is warming me right down to my toes. Blessings. Much love to you and Michael. Miss you both madly.

    • Thank you dear Joylene. I love how you describe the wellbeing of your toes. I think they may have got infected by a little aloha. Today we went paddling in the morning and the dolphins were jumping like crazy. Later my dear lovely hubby took me to a glassbottom boat trip and we heard the most amazing stories of the reef fish and once again the dolphins came all around us and jumped like crazy. The weather was clear so we could see the mountain Holualoa so well and looking at the land we both felt so happy and so content. We are so meant to be here. Most people when I say I am from Estonia and I live here are very puzzled for the first 10 minutes – wondering what the heck did she do? Won in lottery, had a golden ticket or robbed some money? None of these. I just picked a wild dream and universe aligned;) Thank you for your support dear Joylene and we miss you both a lot too. We plan to do a little Mexico trip in 2019 winter as I am going to come to renew my card and maybe even work a bit. Will see how that goes. Keep your stories going and find more reasons for your toes to feel good and tickled;)

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