The women’s retreat in Estonia was a good preparation for this receiving energy which we could experience in Turkey. This time I will share my travel experiences with some tips and keys, what you could take home with you from it.

It was obvious to me that without a break in Estonia I would just burn myself completely out before leaving Estonia.

The problem is that when you do what you love all the time and only that and people’s lives change because of that, plus they turn into shining lighthouses, then this is so inspiring to keep going in such a way that you even feel like sleeping is a total waste of time and without sleeping I would be active all the time. The body let me know that I had to have a break.  I am glad I did it.

I got a very good opportunity to travel to Turkey. I invited one of my cooperation partners and friend Kaidi Kirss to join in. As we did spend a lot of time in Estonia and cocreated a lot too, it was a natural choice. Just before the trip we led together a successful weekend retreat in Estonia, where we also got some extra abundance from for our adventure. This trip was for 1 week and around Antalya area, in the Turkish riviera.

We agreed that we leave our laptops home as we are both workaholics and we will only post pictures on FB. It was a good choice and I managed to really unplug for a whole week.

The trip was organized by Nikal Travel from Estonia. Deep in me I needed at least 3-4 days of beach days and doing nothing and then adventures. The program was put together completely different and the main focus was on adventures till the last day. No one was asking about my needs as these kind of trips are organised differently. These are not custom made. In the end I needed to just find the possibility to get that extra beach day and canceled one adventure day. The guides started to manipulate us and it was really sad to feel that the guides took us just as money bills not as a person who has his or her needs. The old me would have just listened to the guide and suppressed the needs, but in the new energy and deeply crystallised  I could not do it. Best choice during the whole trip!

Turkey is a very interesting and exciting country with its cultural history and nature and people. Sad is the fact the tourism has turned it into a very commercial place, where it is even hard to get a water bottle cheaper than 1 euro.

This way we sell off not only our cultures, but also our souls. Having an anthropology background I understand it more deeply as a usual person would.

Turkish people seem to be very real and very passionate about their opinions. When we watched Turkish TV, most of the movies were in Turkish and talked about families. Family life seemed to be full of big tensions and suffering. Often times the man has many women secretively.

Even though a man’s  honour is so much more in focus as in other cultures, I felt like most men did not care about it. When they see a possibility, they grab it. Even I managed to experience it. My old me would have adventured with it, but the new me did not.

It felt like a pointless relation adventure like a fast food of Mc Donalds and no consciousness about resources. I understood that I have been completely spoiled as a tantra goddess that I would need only a gourmet approach in relations.

The difference was that for that particular man who approached me I was probably the very first woman who did not go with it after he threw me a hook and said proudly no and good luck in a very polite way.

Part of the Turkish culture is also that no is not taken seriously. It took a whole 4 days to get that over to the person and that man started to manipulate me in so many ways which are the signs of the not mature person. That man did not know anything about holding space or pulling the energies for a woman and truly how could he?

Some days later I did some rituals with my tantra friend and we put together our third eyes and I became one with him energetically only with 2 seconds without any sexual contact.

Yes, we are different and people are different, as are our needs. But till we do not give the clear list to the universe what we order and what we need, the universe does not know how to offer it to you. You may get a half produce or a challenge and when you do – this is your time to check your order list and change it.

Home assignment

If your life will throw at you this kind of option which I just talked about, then ask these questions:

1. Is that possibility going to expand me and be a sustainable food for my whole being or fast food for my adventure history?

 2. Would that possibility feed my inner deeper being?

3. Where and what are my boundaries and what should I do in order to honour them and feel well?

What is really interesting with men is that when you do not chase them, they start to come out from everywhere and chase you instead. May even happen since childhood till the latest contacts. They will come from where you would not even expect. This is surprising, but also understandable, as the energy is inviting but it would not have the chasing energy in it any more.

Most repelling is actually the hunting energy. This needs to be consciously grounded. In Turkey, many men have the hunting energy in their systems, which is not grounded very well. That creates the imbalances in Turkey as a country as well. 

We were driving around a lot and we saw many sightseeings – like the mountain of Olympos which in Turkish means the ‘timber mountain’ and what is also called to be the mountain home for Gods. On top of this mountain we shared our orders with the Gods and it almost felt like we could touch the clouds. The energy on top of this mountain was really powerful and I would have wished to stay there longer than just some counted minutes. 

What is interesting is that I took similar photos on the mountain top from the Great Canyon one year ago. But now the person who looked at me was confident, in her courage and power compare to the woman I was last year. This is the difference if you live the life of your terms and courage and heart. 

The second big adventure was the pirate ship tour. I was in my element. I got some sun, which I have not seen much of during the last 4 months and I got my skin hot and warm into my bones. But the water was cold + 18C

The view from the sea was very beautiful and nourishing to the soul. The water was clear and with my mask and snorkel it was good to make some tricks. No corals, no dolphins. But my body could release a lot of negativity and human information field, which is hard to get rid of if you do not go regularly to the salty water or to the nature. I came back from the water like a real mermaid – having a smile on my face, lighter and cleaner feeling in my body.

After this we had a long tour over the mountains of Taurus. Our Estonian guide was very throughly talking about stories about Turkey, the culture and traditions. As I am Taurus myself, I tried to sense it and pull this energy into myself. It worked well to contribute to my finalizing details of my crystalization process.

Next we arrived to Pamukkale, where the white salty mountains are located and also mineral rich natural termal baths. We arrived there in the evening and it was cool and we could not see much. In Turkish this place name means ‘cotton castle’ which is located in the Denizli province.

The world famous thermal baths at Pamukkale and white mountains and platoos which are formed by the minerals and flowing water are located right here. On the bottom of it, the ancient town Hierapolis was built, which is 2700 meters long and 600 meters wide and 160 meters high. It is visible even in Denizli town, which is 20 km away.

The hotel where we overnighted was very special, but very cold. We went to the thermal bath, where the water must have been +32, but it lost its effect as outside it was only +15. I got really cold, plus the air conditioning in the bus which made it feel like you were sitting in the driving fridge made it hard at times to enjoy the trip.

I took with me the Turkish cold. This is different. Long lasting and on the one side. As I have spent like 5 last winters in the tropics, then the morning cold was too much for me. Then we were taken to the Hierapolis mountain very early in the morning. It was really chilly.

I tried to warm my feet and toes in the hot mineral baths, which were naturally formed by the flowing water. I sensed and pulled into me this ancient energy and let it cleanse the rest. This place would have needed a whole days presence. We had only 2 hours after the tour with the guide.

Hierapolis has a very special story and the energy there was very different too, but could not really sense properly. When I sat in the amfi theater I could almost hear the sounds of the elevated people while there was a performance happening long time ago. It may be even possible that at some point I lived there as it seemed familiar.

Reading more information about this place I read that under the mountains, which are called Pluto mountains, where the God Pluto was supposed to rule..

My astrology friend Katrin Haiba said that Pluto is like the atom bomb inside the ocean, who would bring up all the inner fears and shadows, and will help us to find our true inner power, but in order to do that you need to stand eye to eye with your shadows. I think that is what happened.

That day there was some kind of conflict going on between some people in the bus and the guides and the whole group got divided naturally into two parts. Maybe a coincidence, but that how it was. The Estonian guide talked a story about the black and white angel and how you should be grateful for both and satisfy both at all times.

My idea is also to offer conscious adventure tours connected to Wantra all over the world. Turkey could be one possibble place and in cooperation with people and places, who show interest and would love to stay longer in one place – like a boutique style travelling and very much custom made. So to say we had a little spying adventure.

In the very end we could enjoy one full sun day and it was so amazing to feel how the sun was going deep into my bones and I even got a little tan on my face. Was nice to put my feet into the sand and see the beauty of the sun. It was nice to breathe in the beauty of the tropical flowers and plants which you can get used to when you live in the tropics and not to notice it this way – in a very fresh way.

I managed with one big thing – I unplugged for the whole week – no emails, no phone, no work. It was really enjoyable and necessary. Many times easier if you have a partner who has similar needs and worldview.

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When I got back my pulse was back to the normal Estonian ‘Manhattan’ style. The same happened to the next 4 days so much that I basically quit sleeping to fix everything.

What was really sweet was my good bye party where we gathered 20 people. The common wish was that I could continue work with these people and would not leave.

There are more possibilities than only working with me in person live. Last winter I guided through my online course 10 women into the new life. One of them shared her story – during my course she quit her old job, started to take classes and courses to learn more about what she feels passionate about and this Christmas time they are going to open up their company. She said – thank you Crystal, you have helped me to change. I would say that I have been the space holding person for that person, where she could open and change according to the matching pace. This is nice to admit and experience.

Soon I will translate this program into English and then all my English speaking clients can also sing up for the program.

When I am in Mexico my online work with clients works even stronger as I am going to the ocean all the time and crystalize and also marinate the participants through that energy. More than a half of the participants from the last year have done the Auratransformation and their lives have completely changed.

I am very proud of these kind of people who are not only laying the eggs and hatching them, but also do something in order to change their life.

I came to Estonia with the anger, fear and resistance. 4,5 months later I leave with love, courage and warmth. I would not go, but winter is not working for me any more and new possibilities are knocking at the door. Possibilities, which would help me to take the Wantra job to the new level, which is not possible in Estonia. I am so excited as my Big Apple (NYC) is waiting for me as well. I am ready for its wonderful surprises which it always has in store for me.

I am Crystal Ra Laksmi. I am a real global traveller. As this is part of my mission and I can share these experiences with others as also my energy wherenever I am, whether it is then used to clean the pipes or for a no or a yes or a new beginning. I am a total catalysing element and do not fight against it any more.

I just met my ex poly partner. After we broke up, he has two new girlfriends in his life, a new place to live and a new job, more money and more possibilities. I really should make it into a service as this is the way it has happened to most of my ex partners and so during the last 15 years…. Time is here I guess…

I am grateful to all of you, who you have read my blogs during the last year and got some inspiration. Even more so I am super grateful that you share my stories with others in your life for whom it could matter.