The second really important part was the conscious touch. We had one of the first parts, where we were touching each other and with our eyes closed. Some men who had tantra experiences, approached women very gently, being present, not pushing their energy on them. It was so beautiful to experience that. The touch went really deep inside and healed many wounds.
This was my favourite part of the course. We could go and visit shivas or shaktis, depending who you are, you are going to the opposite temple. I can always be the wild and powerful woman who I am there. No judgment. I can ask what I would like without feeling guilty. I mostly get all I ask there. In real life as I child I did not get most of what I asked. What happened later, I stopped asking, because I was afraid to get the NO. Most people also have trouble to ask what they want or even know what that is.
it was really a powerful moment, when I came out of my temple I could invite another new shakti in. I invited the woman who seemed to be very scared. She did not want to go, I asked her to do it. She did and when she came back, she had completely transformed into a goddess. Just 7 minutes later. How cool! Later she was more courageous and so much more like a queen in her power.
In tantra, we have often times rituals, where we change different partners during the rituals. In the beginning people are scared of it and try to avoid it. In the end, that is one of their most favourite part. You basically work with one person maybe 5-7 minutes, and then move to another person.
Once we had a married couple, who was okay to share. One lady got activated and so opened after the ritual with this married man, that went to thank the wife of that man because she allowed her to get the activation what her husband had.
During the courses and organizing them, I often times was the person jumping into the group if the numbers were not even, but then again I had no right to choose my partner for the rituals. I was always the last one. So I had the sweaty, big, fatty guys – no one else liked to choose. I learned within this time how to accept them, not to judge them, and activate them with my energy.
After this for several years, I decided that I would love to have tantra partners (at least) who are beautiful inside and outside. More and more I am moving into this and how different is the experience! I had the chance to pick the men I liked most of the time and do sessions, hugs, rituals with them. It was a huge shift for me and so healing! I felt instantly empowered, listened, cared for. I felt I was in the shop, where I got what I wanted. It feels so good, especially if you have spent so much of your life getting what you do not want. One of the reasons, why that has happened over and over again, is that I have been superclear what I do not want and having too much focus on it, I have attracted more of it. Tantra has given me the keys to turn this around and focus on the good and what I would love to have in my life. When it shows up, it is really beautiful.
Like yesterday after the event, getting home I had a very busy evening ahead of me, I was totally tired and done. But I must have landed on to my queen platform as later I got an invitation to use the voucher from a friend for Kalev Spa for 3 hours today. As I anyway planned to go, I used it fully. I trained for 1 hour in the gym, then swam with my fins and then even used the water tubes to get down, to activate my inner child. I went to all the saunas. The lap where I swam, was reserved in one end and completely empty, so I figured someone must have forgotten the sign there, so I just used it as a true queen, who’s lap was reserved for her. What a luxury. 3 hours later I felt like a new person! How little do we need to create more of what we desire.
Each partner during the event activated different parts in me. One magical meeting happened by the fire under the cosmic full moon and I had never met this person, or talked to him before. Suddenly my body was activated by many wave like energies going and coming, super ecstatic and orgasmic. I almost could not stand any more. There we were standing in this dance for almost an hour. No sex, no talk, no mind. Only the higher selves as well lower selves were meeting and dancing together in this cosmic wave. I must admit, it felt even better than sex!
If you feel like monogamous lifestyle is totally for you, you can come to tantra event to experience the different energies, people like this, but you can also let it sink deeper and see where the guidance leads you in some months time. If you do the sessions and rituals with different people, that does not mean that you have to marry them there on the spot. This will be just the meeting of you, your energies and the presence. You share it, and move on. Almost like dolphins in the water. You do not get attached.
In the morning, before you wake up, start to touch yourself and very slowly – saying – I love you (and your name). Caress yourself all over your body, as far as you reach. Please take care that your touch would be very slow, deep and sense how your touch goes through your skin very deep. Do this for 5 minutes and hug yourself. To embody the good feeling, go and stand in front of your mirror and say that you love yourself there as well. After this kind of the beginning for the day, your day will have a different energy! If you dare, share your experiences!
This Saturday I went to the other singles party. It happened outside and it had almost 1000 people. The idea of the event was good, but the organization was a bit messy.
This kind of a mass shows that there is a huge interest about these kind of topic and how many people are working with this topic on a deeper level. There is a need to offer different channels so that all kinds of people find the one which works best for them.
I am Crystal Ra Laksmi. This week I deepdove even deeper, in order to understand how far are the roots of the wounds of my inner man and woman. Today one of the new tantraman I got to know gave me the key – the key is hidden in between the layers. The key is in the expectations. Less you expect from yourself or others easier it is and less importance it has.
Less importance you have in your life, less out of balance energies you have. The question is now for all of us – how to live and be in life like that, so that you are here and enjoy the passing by bird or the sun rays touching your, so that you are satisfied with it?
If you have anything in your life, which needs checking, new activation or healing, book your time with me on skype or come to my private live session if you are in Europe and specifically in Estonia for couple of more months. Take contact here and check out more about my sessions here.