This week I would like to focus the whole blog to the topic of new time relations. It seems to be such a question mark for so many people these days, that needs more exploration and elaboration and can be one of the main new keys for your life.
I studied anthropology for 5 years in different parts of the world and one thing I learned about it was that anthropologists talk about topics which are relevant to the processes in the society. That is what I am going to do. I am happy that there is more information coming now out on the topic of new time relations on different platforms. We need more information, experience sharing and possibilities for that as it is a very grey area for very many people in the world right now.
Changing structures in society
As times goes by our societies are changing in a rapid speed. The marriage institution may not work any more and its goals have lost its meaning. It is about time to redefine the goals of marriage or relationships in general.
If we look into the definition of marriage from Wikipedia, we can read this:
‘Marriage, also called matrimony or wedlock, is a socially or ritually recognized union or legal contract between spouses that establishes rights and obligations between them, between them and their children, and between them and their in-laws. The definition of marriage varies according to different cultures, but it is principally an institution in which interpersonal relationships, usually sexual, are acknowledged. In some cultures, marriage is recommended or considered to be compulsory before pursuing any sexual activity. When defined broadly, marriage is considered a cultural universal.’
It says it is a ‘wedlock’ and that is something I feel many men are scared for, especially if they have had a long lasting marriage they are coming out of. They are scared of being locked in, in prison and to go through the painful divorce process.
On the other hand women in the late thirties who are hungry for mature men are in real trouble now as the men they are looking for are in their late 40s, who by now mostly are divorcing their long term marriages. They are not interested to get married again as they are now out for fun and self exploration. These women on the other hand who are looking for the mature men are tired of looking and fun as it is all what they have had. I have so many female friends like that right now with these experiences.
This way we have a whole set of women in a certain age group who are not finding their matching partners, as they want different things and one thing I have learned over the years is that if you want to make the relationship work, you need to have as many similarities as you can and at least some common goals and needs.
But what if the relationship is chosen to be the space for exploration, fun, expansion and liberation? What if marriage as an institution is no longer needed any more? What if we need to redefine what it is for us and how it can serve us?
Over the past 15 years I have had many relationships. Not so much out of my choice, but because I have happened to become ‘the girl in between relationships’ or ‘the men activator’. After I have met the guy of my dream after short period of time, he changes his mind and does something what breaks my heart and takes away my trust again. Just some months or weeks later, they usually find their new dream partner and even often times marry them (even though they told me they are not interested in that) and even get children with them.
Maybe it is that my mission in life is to actually not have one man and just activate them and be the transition hall for them, but I know that deep inside of me I have the need for something deeper what would nourish my spirit and body and mind. I will not bottle it up and make a face I do not want it. Instead I honor it. I will explore more of that need and where it can take me. I am learning to give this need a voice. Express itself. Empower it and give it my power.
I have got glimpses of that need expressing and having its platform at times and it has been amazing. That is how I know that it would benefit not only me, but also him or her.
Time to redefine the relationships
What does that mean? That means that every person you meet who has a potential to become your future partner, you redefine it. This is your homework for this time.
Ask yourself questions like:
– What is it I personally need right now in that phase of my life?
– How much time should I spend with this person so that I would feel comfortable and safe?
– Do I need sex, pleasure, commitment or free flow?
– Do I need intelligent conversations, some fun playmate to spend time with?
– Do I need someone to hold me and be there for me when I have hard times?
– What else do I desire and need?
– What relationship form would nourish all my desires and needs?
– Is there someone out there or in my circles who could fulfill some of that?
If my need is to get at least one tantra massage a week and I have a friend who can offer that, I can for sure ask him, what can I do to make that happen and what can I give what he needs, so we are both happy to help each other.
If my need is to get an Orgasmic Meditation partner and I have a man in my circles who is ready and opened to explore that option with me and do it regularly, I can ask him and have him only as my OMing partner.
If my need is to talk about my world travels with someone and there is a friend who has traveled a lot, I would maybe arrange a meeting with him or her to share that.
Of course it would be ideal to have only one man doing all that, but life is not perfect and sometimes it would take long time to get that if at all. Sometimes our spirit is giving us chances to take things step by step and move forward and prepare the ground for the new possibilities. It is like a video game that you need to go through certain levels in order to get to the higher ones.
Work with your needs
That is why it is important to work with your needs now step by step and see how everyone who is around you in your life right now would love to contribute and how you would contribute to them.
– Maybe you have desired to learn how to cook, and you have a friend who could teach you?
– Maybe you have desired to learn how to garden and you have someone who can do that?
From these little possibilities you can get to know the other person and from there who knows where things can flow.
What I see as a problem for many people in relations these days is that they are very confused. We have this implant called – ‘relationship implant’ in our heads and it just pushes us to find that ideal mate no matter what. It has been inserted into our heads, by our control systems. It takes away our personal freedom and will to explore other options.
Often times when we meet that other person, we want to put him or her into our picture of that ideal mate. When it does not match we are disappointed like little kids. But instead maybe we should just see what spirit presented us with and maybe it has something else to deliver to us?
– What if today you choose to have a relationship for only 1 second at a time?
– What if today you choose to have your relationship as a exploration tour, where you are excited as a kid about what comes next and embrace it with opened arms?
– What if today you choose to have a relationship like a boot camp, where you work through whatever comes up with that very person you have chosen to share your one second at the time?
Why one second at the time?
Because then you have to keep yourself fresh and present at all times. You see, the marriage was created as an institution for other purposes than the ones we need in our technical age now. People are fast and shifting fast. They need more pleasure, more change and variety than before. When you have one second, you have to give your outmost best and you can not become lazy.
Why not to choose it and live it now?
Relationships without limits
This may cause a situation where many people choose to have multiple relationships with many different people, some close by, some far away, some even from the same gender. The limitations and boundaries we used to have are falling apart. We are now stepping into the unknown and we have to be ready to face anything. It is very scary. There is no set tomorrow for the next 5 years style any more. You have to be up beat now and here, or you will lose it.
This will put much more pressure on the relationships as we knew it. It may be hard for people to commit for longer than 1 second at the time. But the ones who choose to choose more than one second may find that it actually is a very fascinating trip, where the spirit guides us home – home to ourselves – in our spirit, mind and body temple and into the depths we have never experienced before. Where there are no limitations and where everything is possible.
This is the new times relationships for the new Aquarius age and we can not run from it as the spirit is guiding us all to change. True, some of us will stay in the old and will never change. But I will tell you from my own experiences and following the energies these days – more easily you change and go with the flow these days, easier and more successful your life will be. More you persist, more trouble you will have. The spirit will take away everything what does not work for you any more.
Relationships and flow in Mexico
If you need time to learn how to flow in life, maybe you should start in Mexico. I have by now lived here 1,5 years and must say that this place has taught me so much about new time flow.
Relationships in Mexico are funny. It is a catholic country, but very many men here have at least one wife, a mistress and a girlfriend. No one talks about it openly, but everyone knows about it.
What if they too, would redefine it?
They should start with the religion first and after that try some open public polyamory.
How many families would be happier with transparent relations and respect towards everyone?
How would their whole society change?
From the fearful to the liberated and playful?
That sounds really scary for most of them. Most men here may not know what to do to handle a woman full of power. It is for sure scary and that is one of the reasons why they created religion in the whole world for the first place. This planet will change and shift hugely when men are willing to learn how to become safety platforms for powerful women to enfold. This will help them to build their empires. When the man starts to give the attention, love and care to the woman and fill her tanks, speak her love languages and penetrate her emotional, spiritual, intellectual and physical and sexual levels, the woman will give her all she has and more. The woman is indeed the bridge to the cosmic connection for the men. Once men realize this, we will have a different world!
I am Crystal Ra Laksmi. I have had many relationships during the last 15 years all over the world. In my search for my perfect man I understood my search has to start with me instead. I am redefining myself, my goals, my needs. I am learning to voice my needs, express them as well to create a safe space for my shadows to come out and dance. My limited mind wanted one man, my spirit seems to offer other solutions. I am going to flow with that. I am in Mexico after all….
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