This month I will write about how to conquer some fears in life and doing so – become a better writer and gain more confidence.
This post is written for the ISWG group. Read more about them here:
During the last months I have had several times a moment when I had a thought that I should go and visit Estonia, my motherland this summer. I had been away for 8 months – 1 month in California, 2 in Hawaii and 5 in West Mexico. Last year I decided that this summer I will jump over and stay in Mexico and adventure to my next destination after that. So much about plans….
I visited my colleague and friend Birgit Kaps in Litibu – a little village, where she gave me my shiatsu massage. During the session she started to share with me her observations about Estonia. The energy was clearly guiding me to travel there anyway. The dates and ideas which came sounded surreal – like in 7- 14 days. Everyone knows that if you do cross-continental travelling you should plan it good time ahead because of the ticket prices. I also had to travel via Mexico City.
After the session the idea did not leave me and insisted, I would do some more research. So there I was – researching how and what flight tickets I could find – and the prices started with 3000 euros.
My goodness – I thought to myself – I can buy a small car for that money! To find the right tickets was quite challenging, but as I did not quit – I found the best way and the price was 1600 euros. I did my calculations and my budget – what would it cost to live there, the place I would rent, the car rental etc. How many people would love to have sessions with me and how many should I have to make it cover my costs, but not only – also make a little profit.
I did not really use to live or travel like this every time, but my new partner Michael Ditton – who is the master of planning, dreaming, goalsetting as well budgeting has taught me some tricks and I have implemented quite many of these, which has immensely changed my life to the better. So there I was – my numbers ready to be presented to him and asking him advice about my crazy idea. I was so scared to do it as I thought from my past experiences with other men that maybe even Michael would not support my crazy idea. But to my surprise, he was impressed with the numbers as well the flow and even helped me to go through the 5 different living options and pick the best one for me and my clients.
Then I started the booking system and structure for my clients. I made direct emails with all the info as well payment info to book their sessions – which I have never done this way. This was their way to commit to my session as well mine.
My sister Riti Karu helped me a lot with the logistics of finding the best times for the Wantra sessions as the time difference with Estonia is 8 hours – when I was going to sleep – they were waking up and the contrary. She helped me immensely to figure it all out and in cooperation with the administrator at the pool – we figured it out and booked 17 Wantra sessions !!!! for the 19 short days I am working there. On top of that 24 other types of energy sessions and I was fully sold out and booked out with my private sessions. I put up also couple of group events and was surprised to see that these filled the minimum seats in no time – within couple of days. I almost could not believe how fast everything was falling into place.
5 different living options were popping up – one better than the other and it was challenging to pick the best one. So here I am – living not too far from the city center, next door to the police department and the beach is only 10 minutes walk from my house. The appartment belongs to a loving family and I could feel the love and good energy in here. It is such a nesting home for me to help me to work as well rest.
In Estonia we have a new type of company called ‘autolevi’ which means that you can rent your car from a private person and do it pretty cheap. For the same amount of time the car rental from Avis would have been almost 1000 euros or more – while I could find one for 375 euros.
The whole process created more challenges and of course some more stress – but it was all worth it as well.
So 2 weeks later I was packing to get ready for my travel and figured that my long layover in Mexico City can really wear me out. Once again I discussed it with Michael and he suggested to find a hotel for the night to take care of my ‘beauty sleep’. So I did. I found one, which also had a free shuttle.
Here again – the old me would have only slept at the airport – the new me who would take care of my inner queen – booked a king size priority room in Mexico City for the night. Because I felt I would deserve it and my trip was almost 3 days long one way.
I have always been scared of Mexico City – it is such a huge place and I have avoided if possible to overnight there. So this time I was conquering my fear in order for me to have a nice sleep.
I followed the directions and found ‘puerto 4’ and asked the taxi drivers there if they knew about the shuttle to my hotel. They all told me that it is not there and that I have to take the taxi. I felt something was not right. So I talked to someone else.
In Mexico it is very common that no one really knows what you ask for but they all pretend like they do and they just tell you whatever comes to their mind.
There was a lady in the taxi counter who guided me to go to the terminal and find the ‘box’ for the hotel. I got in there and it was of course closed, as it was midnight. But I called to the number on the door – which was completely different from the booking phone number. Finally I got someone on the line who did not really speak English.
Somehow I figured that the shuttle goes from ‘puerto 4’ and will be there in 10 minutes. I went back and looked around and was more confused than earlier. Then I saw a man coming up the hill who looked like maybe knows about my shuttle. I asked and he pointed towards the corner, where all the shuttles stop. This was only 5 meters from where the other taxi drivers told me there would be no shuttles!!!! I wondered why was that. Were they really wanting to make business or was it because they really did not notice – working there every day? It puzzled me.
My shuttle came and the driver was very polite. It was my very first time inside Mexico City. It was dark and night and there was a police car with blinking sirens in every 20 meters. Wow. You would not like to walk there at night alone – I thought.
I did my check in and the driver helped me in to my room. The bed would have comfortably fitted 3-4 people and there I was with my lamb imagining cuddling with Michael.
Michael was with me – following each leg of my trip online. It was amazing to feel this kind of support and have him as my backup when I was in trouble. I have really missed this kind of mature male support in my life and I am so lucky to have it now.
I had a nice sleep and my next leg was to travel to Paris. I had wonderful travelling companions beside me and enjoyed my trip very much.
In Paris I could catch up with some final emails and they actually had free WIFI! I had arrived to Europe! I had no time to go to the town, but I met a woman on the bus, who told me her whole life story in like 5 minutes. I love meetings like that – so inspiring. She was travelling from Israel to United States to help her grandbaby to be born.
The Paris airport is huge, it took almost 40 minutes to drive from one side to the other with the shuttle. I was lucky to have a pretty long layover.
I arrived to Estonia late evening and my dear friend Kaidi Kirss came to pick me up. When we left the car – my favourite bird – nightingale was singing its welcome song to me. Everything was blooming and blossoming. My friend had prepared some Estonian fish and black bread for me and a nice bed. I was so tired. I slept like a baby.
The next day I started to set up my life here for the next 19 days – to get my home keys as well the car. Everything was flowing. I got a bit better car – as a sign for the queen’s arrival – with no extra pay for almost a week. I set myself up and was ready to work. Time difference was still killing me, but I did my best to rest.
The next day I had 10 hours working day and I have missed those so much – as I do only what I love – Auratransformations, energy balancings, Wantra sessions and consultations. More people were ready to work with me.
Some of the next days I had some fun time, relaxed, met my son and went to the movies with Kaidi. It was so cool to be back, appreciate everything I love about Estonia and see all the lovely people who love me and value my work. I feel so happy, so full of love and so full of gratitude. This time during the last 41 years I felt like I arrived to the mother’s lap and my home country was actually welcoming me. It was such a difference – instead of constant fighting and obstacles I had encountered most times. I wondered why that was.
I figured Mexico must have had another purpose for me this time despite working with Wantra and that was that I could open up my heart more, fill my inner containers and feel good. The little cats around our house as well the kittens which were born, were activators in addition to living with Michael – my true king. I felt so full and present.
What did I learn about the whole experience?
In life, especially in the new energy – the best things come from our intuition impulses. Most people never listen to it seriously and avoid taking action. I did and now – look at me – I am not only using this as an inspiration story for all of you and myself, but also living even more of my dream on my terms – where I love and when I love and doing what I love.
This whole experience has made me more confident and I also understood that confidence loves speed. When we do not overthink and surf in the wave of our heart’s intuition – good things come out of it. Sometimes a story, sometimes more profit, sometimes more new beginnings for other people and sometimes more love and care and sometimes the surprises of the meeting of the unknown.
Maybe my insecurity has moved out for good? If not – it has definitely taken a holiday. I must say I really love it. This life without fear is worth living and the best of it is – if what you choose inspires other people to live their dreams and become more of who they are here to be!
Pls share with me about your experiences when you have chosen something very fast and been successful with it. What were your insights about that experience?
I am learning to step more and more into the shoes of my inner queen and live the life of ease and abundance wherever I go.
This trip has inspired me to really finish all my manuscripts once I get back to my next destination and rock the world with my words – the way I have never dared to, because now I am fully warmed up and ready!
This post is written for ISWG group. Read more about it here: