Insecure writers – Use your dreams as your seeds for your better future!

This post is written for the ISWG group. Read more about them here: 

This time I will share with you about my longterm dream, which I have worked with for many, many years.

Aloha to everyone from my beloved Hawaii. It has been a journey to travel back here – to my favourite place on this planet and be here together with my beloved king Michael. It has been a long journey. I am 41 at the moment and started to dream about spending more time in Hawaii in 2009 when I visited the island for the very first time. This time is my 13th time on the island and this island – the Big Island – has taught me a lot about insecurity.

My first trip was only 10 days if I remember correct, my second was already 14 days and as time went by I added more days. Till the day came when I was invited by my heart and the lava goddess Pele to visit for 3 months. My mind was completely freaking out. I was thinking about the expenses and how much it would cost me to make this happen.

I estimated around 10 000 euros for a monthly expense or so. That included also taking care of my studio rental in Estonia, which I did not close during the first times. But my heart was steady about the choice. So I packed my things and came. After some time on the island more and more opportunities started to come up from one housesitting project to the next till I had the problem to choose which house to sit and what to take. It was a very interesting time. I learned to know the island much more, met more people as well adventured more in the nature and I learned so much more about myself here. It really grew deeper into my heart.

I came back after that first time and could not believe how easily everything had been flowing and coming to me. Obviously we were bonding with the island and my new friend lava Goddess Pele very well. But in my heart – I was thinking – this must still be just a lucky thing…

Then the second time came when I felt the call and the same thing happened. I felt like going for 3 more months. The same flow carried me everywhere. I felt like a surfer who had a good surf day every day. After that my mind was still hesitating and thinking – this still must have been just luck.

To make myself believe that this is not just luck I came even the third time for 3 months. I went through some major processes and after that I knew that it can be partly luck, but it is also my own choice and creation and co-creation with Pele. Because I love and like this place so much – my energy is flowing towards this place as is the island’s energy towards me. We have a two way street. That is the very base foundation for loving the life you live.

After my third time here I travelled to Mexico and from there had many other adventures. One year later I travelled to Mexico and stayed for 2 years. While all this was going on, I was actually still on Pele University’s program, which taught me many things while in Mexico or so to say prepared me for the next visit for Hawaii. During that trip in Mexico I also gave birth to my Water modality Wantra and it was amazing how this all came about.

Last year me and Michael we spent also 2 months in Hawaii and the same flow followed, we covered almost 1 month with only housesitting so well, that everything was supporting this trip.

Now I am back and it feels so home. I am so grateful to be here again and yesterday while watching the fireworks of the 4th of July – my very first one in USA I was so touched and even got a tear in my eye – that I was doing that with my king Michael and in Hawaii. How cool is that? Before coming this time I had a true exam organized by Pele – my trip to Estonia – which I shared about last time here with ISWG writers and I passed it very well. Actually way better I even expected myself.

I feel very confident and strong today. When I feel insecure I take my new friend bike called Huffy and drive to my favourite snorkeling beach. I snorkel for some time and then talk to the ocean. I give away all I do not need, even my insecurity. I come out as a new person. Somehow and somewhat everything starts to flow as well.

I strongly believe that there is a solid connection between the visible and invisible world and if we learn how to cooperate with both as well how to unite these – the universe will start to give us all what we need and more. You just need to know what to ask and how and it will be given to you. Mermaid or not…;)

I am Crystal Ra Laksmi. A traveling mermaid who is actually enjoying to stay put for a bit. I do not think I will grow roots, if so maybe a mermaid tale.;) My dream to come here to Hawaii, Big Island and spend more time is fulfilled again and my dream has been my seed for my better future and I have loved the last years of it, when I have made conscious choices to live my life more on my terms and where and when it suits me. I hope my life is a beautiful example as well inspiration to everyone else out there, who has a dream or two and would love to plant them and see them growing. 😉

2 thoughts on “Insecure writers – Use your dreams as your seeds for your better future!

  1. I’m also inspired by setting. The pacific northwest is a natural fit with my chosen genre – gothic horror.

    I’ve only been to Hawaii once, but I definitely plan to return. Lovely place.


    • Thank you. Yes. What I love about Hawaii is the many possibilities it has for outdoor stuff as well. Very inspiring for me as a writer. I hope to finalize many of my manuscripts here. Hope you enjoy your setting.

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