Living with the open heart and vulnerability
This year was one of those years when my heart got broken big time. I was so broken that I completely gave up any hope in love or a relation with a man in general. It had been a chase for 15 years. I gave up. I focused only on me and my work. That is fine too as it brought me results I wished, but it completely blocked my heart, covered it with protection layers and my vulnerability disappeared completely. But to be a true woman, you need to be very vulnerable.
It is not fun to travel through layers of pain, but it is worth it once you get through it all. TO be a real woman, a woman needs to love firstly herself no matter what and have an open heart with the flowing love at all times to the surroundings. That is what works as a magnet for men too. They can not explain it ,but they feel it and get attracted to it. So slowly I am making new steps in the mysterious land of love.
This year I allied with my best friend – courage. I did things I did not believe could be possible and I got out to the areas in my life, where I have been like a grey mouse for a while. I accomplished some new goals in new ways and surprised myself as well.
The key here was also not to force anything and let go of everything. All that what was meant to happen, happened and came to me with ease forming into some bigger things like even business contracts and deals beyond anything I had even dreamt of. Courage was my best friend and guiding me through many dark areas and fears through listening to my intuition. I am so glad I have learned to trust my courage fully now.
I have repeated to myself and others – do what you love and money follows. Your mind will not believe it, but it is true. I have tested it during the last 8 years repeatedly.
I tested it out truly in South Africa, where my funds ran low because I did not get enough support for my masters project and started to do my spiritual work and with some ideas spirit gave me all I needed to feed myself for the last months with the support of my Estonian clients via online work already in 2006. I saw this in action not only there, but in many places. I travelled to Estonia in 2005 to do my first bigger events and got popular not only with people, but also throughout local media.
Somehow I kind of stopped to do what I love for a while, because I lost faith in me and my main anchor person in my life disappeared.
This time in Estonia proved me that there is one other important element to be added – which is – do what you love and do it where it works for you and even more abundance follows. Doing what you love adds even more to the plate if you have formed targets as then you have a destination to get to. In the new energy, there is a need for a target. As soon as I gave my spirit a target, it started to organise and find me all the important people and possibilities for that.
There was so much flow and ease that many times I had to pinch myself to believe I was truly in Estonia again.
So I have to repeat it again even most people will fight me for that – your main key to your dream life to be lived on your terms – is to do what you love and receive all from that.
That does not mean that it is just one thing or that is where your main income comes, but it can help you to build the platform, which is strong enough to move away from in the future. This is closely tied into the life mission, which is the very thing or things you love to do. This is how your spirit is expressing herself to the world and how it contributes to the world.
I just read the story of E.L. James, who got inspired by the Twilight series and wrote down her sexual fantasies into Fifty Shades of Grey. Her book had sold 125 million copies by June 2015 and translated into 52 languages. The movie rights were sold for ‘Fifty Shades of Grey’ for 5 million dollars and movie earned 570 million dollars when it got released – worldwide. Behind the book is the person who is not after fame or millions. She just did what she loved. Watch the free movie here.
While I was back in Estonia I made a commitment and a plan with myself.
I knew that the best way to keep my mental and emotional health up is to work and do what I love most – work with people and in the water.
I promised myself I do all I can to do at least one weekly event somewhere and also at least one client day per week. Of course in the end I had more than that, but that was only good.
What I discovered was that I was fully using my potential, at least that particular part and I felt good as I was busy, nourished and fulfilled.
I have now noticed, that if I have long breaks and do not work on people or in the water, my spirit gets very frustrated and starts to create crap. I start to think about things which are not even here, fear something which is not even real etc.
Yesterday it was exploding again when I had an emotional collapse. I did not understand what caused it, but while doing my swimming in the ocean an insight came to me as the water tells me what to do – Crystal – you are just again in this point when you are getting very frustrated as you are not fully using your potential. In the next two days I got two people to work on in the ocean. I felt completely different right away.
I am preparing to get it all in full swing in January – helping out in Octopus garden to get the movie nights going, help the Ecstatic dance get going, and the silks classes going. On top of that maybe do a once a week water stretching in the marina pool, if there are enough people and the water is not too cold, on top of that all the clients I am going to have a possibility to work on in the pools locally to set up my business here in such a way that I can continue to work here seasonally in the future, as my papers get done, and continue my weekly blogging in two languages, working with my online clients, keeping up my training with ocean swimming, bringing in my kayaking again and also continuing to go to Alanon group meetings as well outings at least once a week and visiting my dear friend Sol in the mountains of Sayulita as often as I can and being social locally.
My plate will be very full, but my mind is restless as it is used to do and create so much all the time. I am using these holiday days to finish some promised writing projects and prepare for the next month. Today I enjoyed the lazy Sunday morning. I woke up around 7, but stayed in bed for 2 more hours. I just love being in bed and no hurry feeling.
Name all the ways you stop yourself to be the greatest success as well doing and being what you love. How much of this is true? How much of this can you change today and now? What else needs to change for you to be able to fully live your dream? What habits are supporting your stay in your box or limitations? What can you do about it?
I am Crystal Ra Laksmi. I have lived the life of stuff and things and luxury as well almost no stuff and full simplicity. This Christmas time reminded me of what is essential to me in life right now. It is not the things, or how much money I have on my account. Even though I am not saying no to money any more as I know now how to use it consciously and how to make it serve me as well the world, so that it becomes a more blissful paradise for everyone to be.
It is about where I live and with whom.
Its about being surrounded by good, kind and loving people.
It is about the temperature outside.
It is the body temperature ocean just 15 minutes away from my house.
It is the simple life.
It is the hello from the stranger on the street.
It is the low bills.
It is the time with friends on the beach.
It is the storytelling by the fire on the beach under the full moon.
It is a little present when you least expect it.
It is a smile on your face when you see the sunset or sunrise.
It is the new places you go to see and visit which awakens the explorer inside.
It is the new move you learn on a silk which awakens your body.
It is a love you share with your friend through the meal you have just made or an insight what came through the ocean swim.
It is the knowing that if the sun is behind the clouds today, tomorrow it will be out again.
It is all that and more. And no. I am not yet a millionaire when I count my money.
But I am a multibillionaire when I look into the quality of my life, people, friends, new loved ones and my life mission which will be in full swing this coming year because of the choices I have done during the last year.
This is my true wish to all of you who read this as well. As there is nothing more pleasurable than doing and being what you love every moment of your existence on this planet. Make it count. Make it count this year! It is about time!!! Make your New Year resolutions and stick to it!
Happy New Year everyone and thank you for all the support this year and may all your wishes which you are ready to receive get fulfilled and lets continue the adventure together, if not in real life, here in my blog!