Is Monogamy Outdated?

picasatimeforchange2I wrote couple of articles about the free love some years ago in the Estonian media, as well as about tantra, but these did not get much of a feedback then.

Anthropologists’ target should be to focus on topics which are relevant in the society, and as soon as I saw this article, I thought it is time again to talk about this topic in public.

The story is up in The Independent (18th of August, 2013) ‘Monogamy is outdated, according to controversial BBC investigation’. Read it before you read my comment to it.

My comments about the story

picasahandsontree plain

In 2008 I visited Zegg eco village, where they practise free love and polygamous relations in East Germany.

In this village they have a ‘love house’ and they have ‘flirting parties’ there. In that house they have different rooms, where people can do what their spirits and bodies would love to do.  The main target for the village has been to unite the spirituality and sexuality. Whether they have accomplished that or not I would let others to decide. 

As I have studied anthropology,  we had to read loads of stories in our curriculum about the cultural examples about different cultures and some of it was also about polygamy, where this is more of a practical key how to make the everyday life work sustainably.

For example in Tibet, where most of the men are out in the mountains with the cattle part of the time. In some of the villages they have agreements, where men are divided and some of them are up in the mountains and the others take care of the women and children in the village. One woman may have two or three men. When the child is born, it is not important, who is the father of the child as they will take care of all the children equally.

When I started to discover this topic on my own,  I got loads of judgments from other people (most of them were in conventional relationships and judged me exploring it as being a hooker). During this journey I got into total conflict with myself till I travelled to Hawaii to visit a local healer.

He saw this as  actually part of my bigger mission – to activate people like that – to be in relation with many several people at the same time while being in the flow. One after the other I noticed the pattern. I got to know a new man, we started dating. After some short period of time we had to break up and right after that they found their perfect long term partner. It happened over and over again.

My question to him was: ‘Why is it so

difficult for me to find one long term partner?’

He asked me: ‘Do you need him this way?

Maybe you are a natural poly person?’

picasa inner queen and king

On top of that I discovered I am bisexual as well. So I tried to put together all the different parts. I had the possibility to live together with an amazing man and a woman for one month in Hawaii. This was the most functional and happy time in my life. We had a total trust, care and honesty.  The practical life was much easier and nicer, because we had a total team work and cooperation happening at all times.

The key for this cohabitation was this: we had very similar world views, we were all very conscious and sexually healthy and emotionally balanced people. We knew it would be just this one month, but I did not experience any jealousy at that time, drama or cheating at all.

Jealousy has roots in the uncertainty and self value. If one is certain in him or herself and the self value is in place, there is no possibility for jealousy. This is just my viewpoint.

This experience encouraged me, that this is not only utopia, but a real possible reality, if  I choose so. I think myself that it is very natural to be both with the woman as the man as it may balance the woman nicely. It may not be suitable for everyone, but it is a possible choice. 


During my world travel I have actually met many of these very opened and expansive couples and people. It was a relief to know that there is nothing wrong with me and there are more of us out there in the world. We are looking for each other, maybe one day to create communities where we could live and co-habitat together. No this is not just hippie time coming back again. It is a conscious choice and creation.

Then I thought that maybe the idea of going deeply into a relation shift with one person is just an utopia as I have imagined, or some kind of implant which has been put into us by religions and systems or is it something else? 

One is for sure, the utopia of monogamy (the old version, where you can not be with others sexually) keeps many people in boxes and frames. But may work for some.

Take for example honesty. Watch some soap operas and bring in some real honesty. The whole idea of a soap opera disappears. Drama disappears. When two people who are in the relationship fall in love into an external person, it does not mean, that you should leave one and hide the other one. Where have we got with this hiding? 

I loved how they handled this topic in the movie ‘The Great Gatsby’. Everyone cheated on everyone, basically publicly and when they all got to the point to act according to the heart, it was all about the drama and the ownership waves hit over the head, which created even more drama.

My vision and sense is that monogamy may disappear even faster than 10 years. We expand in our spirit and body faster than we could think. In this expansion, we start to live a life without fear, where we do not have rules, have only the agreements and an opened communication. People could use the 4 V system, which would build a foundation to the sustainable harmony and balance on all levels in our life. (If you would love to get this system, register your name to the list on my news list on my webpage’s first page).

Everyone will of course choose which kind of relationship suits them. It is important to be tolerant. If someone chooses something conventional and it makes them happy, then why not and if not, let them be in peace and live their life too? 

The biggest key to change the world is actually ECSTASY AND HAPPINESS. How we get there, it is up to the choices. If these choices are done in consciousness, balance and honesty towards yourself and others, done with care, from your heart, it can be the main key to create the butterfly effect and activate it in the whole world.


winnieMaybe it is about time, where we have to become Winnie Poohs in our relation shifts as well, where we would not choose this or that, but choose both!


Does this article resonate with you? Please share it with your friends and leave your comment!

Please share with me your thoughts, experiences about monogamy and polygamy!

How do you sense the future ‘relationship model’ develops? 

What kind of relationship model works for you right now? 

When it works, why? 

crystalblissThank you! 

Picture of the Winnie Pooh from

Naked truth about Crystal Ra Laksmi

Many people spend all of their lives to hide who they really are or even try to escape from it! Many people do not even really want to find out who they really are!

The matter can be complicated, as if we are ever changing how can we state here and now who we are?

Some years ago I thought I knew who I was. Right this moment I know who I was yesterday, who I would love to become and be in the future. Who I am today I know as well, but this is the most changing phase, so even if people think they know me as they knew me a year ago, I do not think they know me at all, me included.

I would love to share some naked truth about me and bits of my story, as I have been hiding too long, not really showing my real face and beauty and power. Now is my time and I am stepping step by step into my power again. I am finding my voice. I believe our past is building a solid platform for our present and future. I honour it.


The naked truth is that my birth name was Kätlin Roovik

and I got my new name Crystal Ra Lakshmi on a top of a mountain in Norway.2 years later I got Crystal Ra Laksmi officially to my passport.

The naked truth is that I love to talk about things what people do not talk about in public. Two of my favourite topics are sex and money.

The naked truth about me is that  I love empowered sex and money (but have never been a prostitute!!!). The naked truth is I love sex which empowers me and money which empowers me or if I can use sex or money to empower others (through tantra ).

The naked truth about me is that I love orgasms: all kinds – vaginal, clitoris, all body etc. I am able to get them even while walking, sleeping, sitting in the car, in the bus etc.

The naked truth is I have not yet found a man who could handle my  empowerment or tame my heart or would dare to choose to grow and expand with me. I have met many and had many trials, all have been experiences to take with me to the future and made me stronger and clearer what I would like to choose in the future.

The naked truth is I have found the woman who dares to choose to grow and expand with me.

and this is one of the connections and supportive systems, which has helped me to get through all the challenges during the last years.

The naked truth is the two of my main reasons why I am still alive

is my son and this woman.

The naked truth is that from now on, I am not letting my value down and will not choose men or women, who disempower me or use any kind of violence (verbal, emotional, mind) against me! Period! You can find yourself another playground. You are not welcome in my world or on my orbit! Have fun some place else, as I am the woman on mission!

IMG_6070The naked truth about my background is that I come from a middle class family,

my parents divorced when I was 6 and I stayed with my grandmother and my father. Later my sister joined me as well for some years.

The naked truht is that I got pregnant when I was 19.

My son is now 16 years old and lives with his father. I spend as much time with him as I can when I am in Estonia. My son has traveled with me a bit. I am there for him, wherever he needs me.

The naked truth is that I have done one abortion which almost took my life…

The naked truth about me is that I come from pretty harsh conditions and have been to the bottom several times as on the top as well.

The naked truth about me is that I once was a millionaire in this life. The naked truth about me is that I lost it all.

The naked truth is that I know that when you are in the bottom, you have nowhere else to go than up. On your way up you appreciate everything what or who comes your way! And you know your way up. It is just all about choice, systems and determination!

The naked truth is that many people have tried to kill me for my courage and my success.

3,5 years ago I was at the peak of my success in Estonia. I was one of the top leading sipiritual companies in Estonia and people got very jealous. The naked truth about it is that there were some people trying to kill me. They tried 3 – 4 times.

The naked truth is I am still alive as I am a woman on mission!

The naked truth is that I have spent almost 6 years for promoting others.

IMG_6082I do not regret it as through this contribution people in Estonia and in other places got to know about Auratransformation TM, water therapy, experience based tantra, Access Consciousness TM and still will hear more about other new things as well as this is in my nature. But I do not feel that the people and organizations I promoted have really appreciated my contribution the way I feel I have deserved it. Maybe my viewpoints or ideas about ethical and honest businesses are different than theirs?

 The naked truth is now is the time to BE ME!

I feel very strongly that now is also my time to come up with my original handwriting and presenting to the world something of my very own. I do now every day special steps for making these steps. You will hear more about it later.

The naked truth is I will never make any business without any contract or written agreements!

I have also learned, that even if you do business with good friends, you should always make a contract and additional written agreements beforehand.

I have learned that to be unique me and walk my path has been challenging, but rewarding in so many ways.

I am 36 and have travelled several times around the world, got 2 higher degrees in Norway and South Africa. I keep travelling, as it inspires me and empowers me and will inspire the world, as I create new things as I share new things all the time!

The naked truth about me is that I am from Estonia (birthland of Skype), but I feel like the citizen of the world and have not had one stable base in the world for the last 2 years.

IMG_6086The naked truth about me is that I am not afraid to be me and I am very open minded.

I can sexually be both with men and women (bisexual or pansexual) and I feel that this is very balancing for most people, if they would let themselves explore and experience that and let go of the viewpoints which do not let them explore.

The naked truth about me is that I love my own body, spirit and mind and fall in love with me more and more.

The naked truth is that I had almost no hair for 2 years just out of choice!

The naked truth of me is that I am not afraid to be naked in front of people.

Whether it is just meant without clothes or literally without masks or layers. I love to be real and love to be me. The best environment for me is the empowered environment. Then I do not have my barriers up and I can expand with every moment and grow as well.

The naked truth about me is that I love life to the bits and even though sometimes the challenges are hard, I have now decided to see everything what comes my way as an opportunity instead of a limitation.

The naked truth about me is that I have learned how to unite the masculine and feminine inside of me.

The naked truth about me is that if you would like to see  ‘the true me’, you have to invite me for a play or an adventure!

The rose opens the petals to the sun who warms and empowers her, to the rain, who waters her and to the soil, who feeds her and to the wind who gives the air of dreams and wings to fly together to the eternity…

The naked truth of me is that I am born to be and express abundance and prosperity in all possible ways and forms.

Thank you for daring to get to know the naked truth about Crystal Ra Laksmi! You are brave!


Would you like to step into your power and be able  to tell the naked truth about you and find your voice? Take contact with me – I have loads of ideas, tools and experiences which can contribute to you to  create your way back to you!

Comment after the first release in Empower Network blog:

Greta Campagnolo:

THIS FREAKIN’ ROCKS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  Crystal, I am here to tell you just how much I LOVE the naked truth about YOU!!!  Thank you so much for being bold, and for sharing so many truths, and for simply being YOU!  This is what this is all about.  This business was build to EMPOWER THE PEOPLE.  So if you are ready to step into yourself, and be YOU, you must connect with Crystal!  She is an absolute authentic being, who will help YOU free yourself!  I’m not saying you have to bare all to be here, what I’m saying is that in time you will reach a level of confidence and power, that inevitably brings you to the place where Crystal has reached.  This moment in time, when it’s almost as if the Universe opens up, and you feel compelled to share your story, because it is what feels good and right.  We were born to make a difference, and for many people hearing all of what Crystal had to share, whether it’s the exact opposite of who you are, in some way, it has inspired you to want to feel FREE as well.  This business is so much more than making ridiculous amounts of money, it’s about reaching deep inside yourself, letting go, and be the better you, all the while helping others to do the same.  Creating a world of FREEDOM!  <3 you so much Crystal!  Thank you!!!